Weight

For the girls out there that have no issues with your weight, I applauded you. For the rest of the girl population who have issues with their weight the following rules apply:

Fat rolls, love handles, etc. are off limits. They are not play toys. Do not grab, poke, play with, etc. Do not make comments like, “More cushion for the pushin’”, “big girls need love too”, “fat a**”, etc. She can make comments like that about herself, but you can’t. Never say these things to her face or to anyone who would go back and tell her.

Always make sure to say things like, “You are beautiful just the way you are”, “I love you just the way you are”, etc.

If her weight is starting to become a health issue, than the topic needs to be approached positively, respectively, and tactfully. Say things like, “I love you and I want to be with you forever and I am scared I’m going to lose you too soon. Please, for us, consider getting help. I am here for you and I will help and support you.”

If she is making an effort, do not eat things in front of her that she cannot have and do not bring things she cannot have into her house. When she exercises, do not make rude comments, even in jokes, about her being gross, sweaty, smelly, etc. She will abandon everything, thinking it is not worth it.

Cooking

If you are lucky enough to have a girl that CAN cook, yay for you. If you are lucky enough to have a girl that WILL cook for you, then double yay. If you have a girl that WILL cook but isn’t very good at it, then I am very sorry to say that you will just have to learn to love it or just cook for yourself. DO NOT, let me repeat, DO NOT ever criticize her cooking or make any reference to how it’s not like your mom’s, sister’s, or (for the love of cheap noodles) ex-girlfriend. She will send you running to said person’s house quicker than you can finish getting the words out of your mouth. In her mind, she is thinking, “At least I took the time to cook. I didn’t HAVE to do that!” She may or may not say this aloud.

I can offer you one solution, but you have to be very careful. This has to be about YOU not her. See if there are any cooking classes offered in your area and suggest going TOGETHER as TOGETHER TIME. Stress how YOU want to learn how to cook better and you want HER to go with YOU to spend time TOGETHER. Remember, it HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU. If she makes some comment to the effect of is this because of my cooking say “Of course not” or “no its because I want to learn and I want you to come with me” or “No, I want to learn and I love spending time with you.”

The Little Girls Room

Girls do not poop.

Of course girls really do, um, have tummy issues but you rarely will hear one admit it.

The same goes for farting. Yes, it goes without saying that she is having tummy issues when she doesn't come out of the bathroom for an extended period of time, but don’t address it.