Sunday, October 24, 2010

I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You

If there is a list somewhere of the ultimate cop-offs, this should top the list. All this statement does is get you out the relationship without an explanation. If you have dated this girl for an extended amount of time, you owe her some type of explanation. She will agonize over the situation, questioning everything she did to try to figure out what she did wrong regardless of if it was her fault or not.

Girls tend to have selective hearing and will latch on to what she wants to hear. If she has any feelings at all for you, she will only hear the “I love you” part and think that the door is still cracked for reconciliation.

Learning New Things

If you are trying to teach your significant other a new thing, be patient.

Remember it takes people different amounts of time to learn new things.

Do NOT ever say that an ex or a girl that is a friend that your significant other does not like “got it right away”.

Girls feel like they have to be superior than previous girlfriends and this statement certainly will not do that. It could result in her walking away from said thing and blaming you. (“You just aren’t patient enough to teach me.”) This makes it seem like it was her idea to stop learning said thing, as she still feels superior. It is better to walk away than fail (in her eyes).

NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER suggest to her that you will go get said individual to teach her. Not only is that extremely insensitive to her feelings, but it destroys her self-confidence and it puts her on said person’s level, so therefore she is no longer superior. If you have a mutual friend that can teach her, ask that person. It is easier for her to fail with a friend than with you.

She does not want you to know that she has failed or is not capable of learning the new thing.

Weight

For the girls out there that have no issues with your weight, I applauded you. For the rest of the girl population who have issues with their weight the following rules apply:

Fat rolls, love handles, etc. are off limits. They are not play toys. Do not grab, poke, play with, etc. Do not make comments like, “More cushion for the pushin’”, “big girls need love too”, “fat a**”, etc. She can make comments like that about herself, but you can’t. Never say these things to her face or to anyone who would go back and tell her.

Always make sure to say things like, “You are beautiful just the way you are”, “I love you just the way you are”, etc.

If her weight is starting to become a health issue, than the topic needs to be approached positively, respectively, and tactfully. Say things like, “I love you and I want to be with you forever and I am scared I’m going to lose you too soon. Please, for us, consider getting help. I am here for you and I will help and support you.”

If she is making an effort, do not eat things in front of her that she cannot have and do not bring things she cannot have into her house. When she exercises, do not make rude comments, even in jokes, about her being gross, sweaty, smelly, etc. She will abandon everything, thinking it is not worth it.

Bad Day at Work

If your hunnie bunnie comes home and starts complaining about her job, listen. Do not start comparing your job to her job. Your job may be ten times worse and harder than hers, but keep your mouth shut. It’s easier to keep your silence than to have the wraith that will come if you open your mouth. Odds are, she understands how hard your job is and loves you for it, she just needs to vent and wants your understanding and attention.

Buying the Cow

This phrase should never leave your mouth if there is a girl within 100 yards of you and if you ever want to get laid again this century do NOT say it to your girlfriend, wife, date, etc.
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